Give it all you got, its all you can hope for, give it all you got.

Its what we have, its all we have.

Give it

It was going to be much harder than this but im starting to lose control of my emotions... i want so much, i dont even know if i am spoiled for choice or if im being to expectant... all i want is a result.

I feel like im in it now.. only two ways out, take the hit or run.

The hit,
I imagine the cold, hard on the back of the neck, like a wet towel. Cold water of course, there you would have the cold... however it is silent... is this the hit? Is the silence the hit? or will it be quick and then silent... a sudden HA! followed by realisation , followed by unease.... will it be?
Perhaps i need to follow through, take it down, give it no chance, come on strong, dont let anything stand in my way, it might hurt me in the doing but in the long run i may have happiness... i may have the ellusive IT.

The Run,
It will and actually is quite long, im not long distance, i know that myself, but giving up means giving in, and what i will be giving into is a lie... the question is do i need to run? I am running right now, sure why dont i just SAY IT!

FUCKING SAY IT!

I do for everyone else, why cant i take my own advice, why cant i listen to reason, why cant i NOT listen to reason?

The grades of light on my fingers right now make me think.... i cant even see some parts of them, the insides... the parts furthest from the light, the undersides.... its a slow movement, i dont know if youd even call the bright side "bright" all i know is there is a side of me im hiding... a side imafraid to give away, to let people know. Well some people.... perhas the people that matter.

Perhaps nobody needs to know

but i want them to

Im gonna dip my head now.