When did I stop really contributing. Without stopping to consider two letters, two words. Two anything. I had a flow that could not be matched by my present self and I was proud of it. I was totally in tune with everything I wanted to be at that time, in that space. I had a viewpoint on my life that was completely observational and totally over the top. But I was not afraid to express it and to learn from it. Somehow I knew that I would read it all years later and gain so much energy in the process. At some point life got so important. At some point life got more "important" and I stopped trying as hard.
I don't try at all.
I never used the word I at all for instance. I should try and do that again. He should try and do that again.
He wrote words that are now totally disconnected from his head. Time has brought them to a new place. Taken them apart and created a new person. One which can represent a different time and allow passages of text like this.
This was a person who had such a pure view on life. He struggled to fit in.. to be cool.. to see and feel what he wanted so much. It seems when he got it he forgot about what got him there, what attracted his goal in the first place.
It was also the core of what has been made possible now. He was a creative. Helplessly creative. A person who could not do anything else. Someone who was thankfully hampered by his lack of knowledge and benefitted from the time it took to learn. No desire to "look" the part. Except there was a desire. Just couldn't do it. And as a result that lack of ability allowed so much more to be expressed. No hours in front of endless letters and numbers trying to figure out who can be friends and who cant. No endless hours with tiny squares pushing black against white and colours into the right combination.
It was just words on a page. Sound in a speaker. Images on a screen. No combination.
This site became the combination.
Perhaps it just needs to be stripped down to nothing. Words - images - sounds. Nothing else. Do not even try to combine them in one place. Put them beside each other and let them exist on their own if they have to. That is what should be done.
Forget the menu. Just a timeline of words.
Forget a timeline... except it is nice to be able to place words in a time and space.
Why can't i disconnect now!? What "I" is it talking to? Who is he?
Stop with the persons.
Disconnect, reset. Plug out and back in. Start again.
Play the strings.
Release the shutter.
Pen to paper.
Push the button.
No more power.